Many have asked about Surah 4 An Nisa: 34th Iyat/verse
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٲمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضٍ۬ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنۡ أَمۡوَٲلِهِمۡۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌ۬ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَڪُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡہِنَّ سَبِيلاًۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّ۬ا ڪَبِيرً۬ا (٣٤)
Men are guardians over women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).— translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali
The biggest controversy of this verse is the last part.----> ((And last) beat them (lightly))<--- The controversy comes in with most people not having a sound understanding of this Iyat. We must look at our Examples in the Prophets (Peace Be Upon Them All).
*Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) never hit his wives, however there were times he refused their beds, due to displeasing conduct.
*Prophet Job (Peace Be Upon Him), In the time of a great trial of illness, His wifes' conduct was displeasing as well . He made an oath in saying that when he is well, he will hit her and he sent her away. But, when he became well he did not want to hit her, nor did he wish to break an oath that he had outwardly spoken, So Allah (SWT) revealed this to him in Surah 38:Sad Iyat/ verse 44 as to make it easy for him.
وَخُذۡ بِيَدِكَ ضِغۡثً۬ا فَٱضۡرِب بِّهِۦ وَلَا تَحۡنَثۡۗ إِنَّا وَجَدۡنَـٰهُ صَابِرً۬اۚ نِّعۡمَ ٱلۡعَبۡدُۖ إِنَّهُ ۥۤ أَوَّابٌ۬ (٤٤)
"And take in thy hand a little grass and strike therewith: and break not (thy oath.) Truly we found him full of patience and constancy: How excellent in our service, Ever did he turn (to Us.)
All parties should fear their Lord. Couples should not be disloyal, false, demeaning, or cruel to their spouses in any way. We should reverence Our Lord (Allah SWT) enough to know that we all error, but we all are traveling this path in search of Righteousness. To Him we all belong and to Him shall we all return. Ameen
Domestic Violence Has No Place In Islam or In Our Society. Know Your Rights, Remember Your Lord, and Your Meeting Day with Him.